Very Selected Writings
of Carapace Completed Umber
as posted to various newsgroups
Gene Tolli wrote:
I'm at the end of overhauling my last bike for the season. Rear tire is off
the rim. I find myself staring at the rim tape, Velox, which reads "FOND DE
JEUNE" (or JUENE, can't remember). Oddly enough, it occurs to me to wonder how
this translates. I assume it means "tape of rim" or something close.
The usually reliable Jobst Brandt theorized wildly:
Jante is French for rim. Fond is the base or "rim base tape" as in Fond du Lac
WI, located at the base of the lake.
First of all, Velox isn't French, it's Latin.
Vercingetorix Velox, the founder of the firm, had a secret crush on his sister-in-law,
Janet. He couldn't bear to keep this forbidden love hidden in his heart, so
he declared it by having his rim tapes display the fact that he was "Fond of
Janet"... at first, he figured that keeping the fateful phrase hidden inside
of the tire where it was not readily visible would keep his brother, Vladimir
Velox, from wising up.
To further confuse his hapless brother, Vercingetorix deliberately mis-spelled
"Janet" as "Jante" and had the word "of" translated into Spanish, the only European
language that Vladimir didn't speak fluently.
Unfortunately for Vercingetorix, Vladimir was deslixic, and failed to notice
that "Janet" had had two letters transposed. Even more unfortunately, it turns
out that "de" also means "of" in Italian, which Vladimir was a whiz at.
Tragically, Vladimir, once he discovered the inscription, strangled both Vercingetorix
and Janet in a fit of jealous rage (using the 17 mm width tape, sticky side
out).
------
Pete Biggs wrote:
Some other posters will insist that crank legths are irrelevent and they can't
tell the difference between 160 and 180mm. Well, what can I say? The word "bollocks"
comes to mind!
Y'know, over the last couple
of decades, there's been a lot of accommodation
to the needs of wheelchair users, but otherwise not much attention has been
paid to the needs of differently-heighted staircase users.
Currently, pedestrians of short, medium and tall stature are all expected to
use staircases with the same riser height. This is fine for the majority, but
is grossly unfair to those of non-average leg length. This situation is obviously
unacceptable. It seems to me that it's time for the Federal Government to right
this wrong.
The solution is simple enough. Every existing staircase needs to be replaced
with 3 parallel staircases. The leftmost shall have risers in the 5 1/2 - 6
inch range; the rightmost shall have risers in the 8 - 8 1/5 inches, and the
middle one shall have 6 1/2 - 7 1/2 inch risers. There will be 4 handrails;
one on each side, and one separating each adjacent pairs of steps.
All three of these parallel staircases shall be of equal width, in the interest
of fairness and equity.
Clearly, it will take some time to implement this plan in existing construction,
and there will be a some financial costs involved, but this is obviously the
only fair solution to this serious, long-standing problem.
------
Mark Atanovich blurted
out:
I make it a point to wave to fellow cyclists. If they don't wave back, I
chaulk it up to A) they didn't see me, or B) they chose not to. I have no problem
with either reason.
I never wave, because a prankster put superglue on the palms of my gloves. Now
the gloves are stuck to my handlebars, and it's very dangerous for me to try
to get my hands out of them while I'm in motion.
I do wink, but since I wear reflective sunglasses that make me look like a bug,
people can't even see me winking.
If the oncoming cyclist is riding the same kind of bike I am, I will raise my
left eyebrow 3/4 of a millimeter.
------
Paul S. Cutt writes:
I'm trying to get more info beyond Brandt's book. If you have any other references,
please pass them on.
Jobst Brandt wrote:
What is it that you are pursuing? I am always looking for subjects that need
expansion in the book.
While the purely rational, material aspects of wheel building are, indeed covered
very thoroughly in your book, it is a bit weak on the emotional and spiritual
side. You should really include a chapter on the appropriate incantations and
blessings, stretching exercises, prayers etc.
I find that the use of balsamic incense during wheel
building produces wheels with more harmonious te, better able to stand up to
the rigors of use in second-growth forest terrain.
Frankincense, however, is preferred for working on road wheels, especially highly
dished rears.
© Sheldon
Brown
an archive of similar exchanges can be found at Sheldon's
site