My lovely daughter bought me a Barbie Bell for Christmas (egged on by my equally lovely wife, no doubt). She's noticed that I haven't fitted it yet... There's no more room on my bike for accessories, honest. What do I tell her? What other use can a bell be put to? Please, please help me.
laughing cavalier

I don't think you will get away without fitting it somewhere! Will it fit on the upright section of your stem? That's where I have fitted mine (not a Barbie bell, though). My wife bought me a little toolkit with a frame-mounted box, which I can't fit anywhere, and she's a "bit disappointed". The only place I could find to fit it (and still be able to slide the box off the mounting as required) is on the front of my saddle post, and there it kept rubbing on my thighs. I already have all the tools I need in my rackbag, anyway. I suppose I will have to make the supreme sacrifice, and offer to fit it on her bike instead! Maybe what she intended, of course. Who knows what a woman intends?
Phil in Reading

I really, really don't want to put the bell on. In some ways, SteveP is right and I should flag up that I don't want tat for my bike to avoid future dilemmas. In other ways, he's completely wrong - you can't go upsetting little girls. I would fit the bell onto her bike but she already has a Barbie bell, as does my wife and Grandma! This is a terrible situation. At least golfers deserve crap presents (joke books, mugs, exploding balls etc) - cyclists should be excused.
laughing cavalier

How about suggesting to your daughter that, as a very special treat, she could have TWO bells on her bike. One for each hand! None of the neighbours' kids will have two bells.
Simon Jones

The answer to your dilemma is to put it on your bike, take it out for a ride and come back having removed it. Tell your daughter it got nicked, the world's a nasty place etc, and you really don't want the disappointment of this happening again so no more Barby bells please. Mind you don't let her find it after you've engaged in this despicable act of deception.
Gabriel

Can't you fit it inside your seat pack? (To keep it clean). Or say that you'll keep it for your daughter's 'other' bike - everyone should have two or three. And anyway, you really wanted a Ken one.
TQM

How old is your daughter? If she's younger than seven, sandpaper off the Barbie decals from the top of the bell and tell her you've used it so much the paint has worn off. If she's slightly older, she won't fall for this scam, I'm afraid. If she's 18 or over, she's just taking the piss.
Miiinee

Tell her you gave it to a little Ethiopian girl for Comic Relief.
Shane

You'll have to buy a new bike specially for the bell, something turquoise with small wheels and a basket on the front. You must make this girl happy or she'll dump you in an old folks home at the first opportunity.
Gordy

The most important thing: She bought it for you. I am just thinking what if I had a family and a kid and got something like this. I think I would be proud, but then I am a sentimental fool.
Steelman

You could always tell your mates that their comments speak volumes for the way that the modern capitalist paradigm relies upon social symbolism and your actions demonstrate your postmodern ironic perspective on this.
TQM

see also Yes, Gary, There is a Fabrizio, Beam Us Up and The Belles-Lettres of Blovius

TOP OF PAGE