[tape begins]

Q. You've come here without us having to bring you in. Why?

A. I'm feeling mellow.

Q. And you wanted to share?

A & Q. And I wanted to share. Mind if we turn this format around?

A. Ok. Shoot.

Q. What do you think a forum is all about?

A. It's a place to meet friends, innit.

Q. Really? That's all?

A. Harmless banter and exchange of personal philosophies. Nothing to get too worked up about. It's just a forum, right?

Q. Whatever is written on a cycling forum isn't going to change the world. However, I believe it can and should be more than a repository for the unchecked id. I believe if you're going to spend time doing something, you should make an attempt to do it well. If an administrator advertises a forum as simply a social network, "doing it well" is trying to ensure not too much crockery is broken at the party. If it's meant to be more than that, so should be the effort. Don't you think?

A. Are users supposed to read your mind?

Q. Psychic powers are not necessary. An application of the gray matter, is. The first rule of forumming should perhaps be: know your administrator. If that sounds big-headed, consider that he or she, if worth his or her salt, will make efforts to know his or her (can we stop this now?) users, which is a much larger remit, there being only one of him and many of them. For my own part, it's difficult to go anywhere on acf without bumping into evidence of my mindset.

A. I've lost track. Was there a question in there?

Q. Wouldn't you agree?

A. Oh, right. Well, yes. There's that ego again.

Q. Good grief. My sense of self-importance is no larger than that of your average Homo sapiens; big enough to get the job done. Sometimes the job requires confidence which to the untrained eye can look like gross ego. The less an admin interferes with users' whims, the more highly they will value him. Having a personality can be a problem.

What do you think of the forum as it is now?

A. It's a little quiet.

Q. How loud does it have to be?

A. Louder.

Q. Explain louder.

A. Like it was.

Q. So before, it was the way you wanted it?

A. Yes.

Q. Do you think I might have wanted it to be a different way? There's volume, and then there's noise. Modulation is also important.

A. Well, we're the users. What we want is what counts.

Q. Do I not use the forum, myself? Or having created it, have a say in what I want it to be?

A. Yes, but by definition you're in the minority.

Q. So majority rules?

A. In a democracy, yes. Oh right, acf isn't a democracy. Whatever it is, it doesn't belong to you alone. Without us it's nothing.

Q. Aside from the inconvenient fact that I own the database (such as it is), "Us" is always subject to change. I have to look at the bigger picture; you're comfy in your own little snapshot.

A. [Lost in translation]

Q. How nice we understand each other.

A. Isn't it.

Q. Like some tea?

A. Yes, thanks.

Q. Sugar?

A. Yes please.

[tape pauses]